• Rachael Yahne

Feminism + Love + The Article That Got Me Hatemail

About this time one year ago, I published an article about marriage, love, and what it feels like to have the partner of your dreams, but not be ready for marriage. Yes, I argued, it's possible to have a wonderful partner whom you adore and respect, with whom you want to spend your entire life, and not be ready for the legality of it all. I'm still not married one year later, and still berated with the same condescending questions and misogynistic opinions. Did the article help extend my personal views about my personal needs in my personal relationship as a means to stop the judgmental views of others? No. In fact it did the opposite; I received hate mail to my personal inbox and a plethora of mean comments on the article itself. While this overjoyed my best friend ("You got actual hate mail? That's legit!"), it disparaged me at the time and continues to do so. My words did nothing to educate others who believe that because I'm in love and because I'm of a certain age, my consent and personal views don't matter because I simply should be married. To them, it's the right thing to do, and not doing so is hurtful and disrespectful to my partner, despite the fact that he's not ready either. Not a single commenter inquired about my partner's feelings on marriage or even my article. However, they did have these choice words to say, so in the name of feminism I feel a compulsion to put this sh*t on blast: